Baffle Them
by Magi Silverwolf
Summary: If you cannot blind them with brilliance, then baffle with bullshtick. (Canned meat. Do not read.)
1. Fault

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the original canon nor am I making any profit from writing this piece. All works are accredited to their original authors, performers, and producers while this piece is mine. No copyright infringement is intended. I acknowledge that all views and opinions expressed herein are merely my interpretations of the characters and situations found within the original canon and may not reflect the views and opinions of the original author(s), producer(s), and/or other people.

**Warnings:** This story may contain material that is not suitable for all audiences and may offend some readers. Please exercise understanding of personal sensitivities before and during reading.

**Author's Note(s):** I'm going to be spamming out several ficlet & chapter things over the next little bit. They may or may not be connected, depending entirely on the whims of my muses. But I have three Bingo games and another challenge coming due, so I need to get through the prompts I've got. So don't read this expecting anything great or profound.

**Challenge/Competition Block**:  
**Stacked with:** MC4A (SpBingo; Ship; SIN; StL; ToS; BAON; FPC; Star; Fence; AV; T3; SN; LiCK; FR); Tony Stark Bingo  
**Individual Challenges:** Team Logic; Marvelous Cinema; Old Shoes; Trope It Up C [Deaging] (Y); In a Flash; Click Bait It; Lovely Triangle; Two Cakes! (Y); Shipmas (Y); Seeds; Bender MC; Hitter MC; Thief MC; Metahuman MC (x4); SHIELD MC (x2)  
**Space Address (Prompt):** Spring Bingo [1B] (Childhood); Tony Stark Bingo [K2] (Bucky Barnes | Winter Soldier)  
**Representation:** Tony Stark/Loki/Bucky Barnes; Avengers; Natasha Romanoff  
**Bonus Challenge(s):** Younger You; Wind Beneath; Second Verse (Three's Company; Car in a Tutu; Unwanted Advice; Middle Name; Zucchini Bread; Nontraditional; Found Family; Not a Lamp; Ladylike); Chorus (Unicorn; Larger than Life; Tomorrow's Shade; Mouth of Babes; Machismo; Wabi Sabi)  
**Tertiary Bonus Challenges:** T3 (Terse; Tether); SN (Rail); LiCK (Yarrow); FR (Liberation)  
**Word Count**: 628

-= LP =-  
Baffle Them  
Part 01: Fault  
-= LP =-

It was Thor's fault.

Bucky knew that he was being unfair to the prince, but at the moment he couldn't be bothered to care much about that. Maybe after he had managed to solve the crisis that Thor had caused, he would be feeling a bit more generous about the whole Enchantress situation in general and Thor's role in it all. At least the god of thunder had the intelligence to look apologetic about the results of his rather public argument with his ex-lover.

Seriously, though, who taunted an already pissed off sorceress?

Thor hadn't even had the good sense to dodge the furious spell that Amora had sent his way! Which had prompted Loki, the _idiot_, to try and save him _as usual_ which had Tony jumping in to save _Loki_, also as _usual_ because for all his genius, Tony was an absolute _idiot_. Bucky was convinced that he was cursed even before Hydra had gotten their filthy mitts on him, because he was surrounded by self-sacrificing idiots who threw themselves into danger at the least prompting and god help him, but he loved them all.

He still wasn't kissing Stevie on the lips. He'd leave that to Thor.

Besides, Tony and Loki both tended to be the possessive sorts, not that Bucky was really looking to challenge that. Two lovers (especially those two) were plenty for Bucky. Keeping them from doing stupid things was a full-time job, even before factoring in just how dangerous being an official superhero was.

Which brought him back to the current situation that was entirely _Thor's fault_.

"We need to get them out of public," Natalia said after it became obvious that no one was going to say anything. "SHIELD is already on their way to take Amora into custody. They can take Loki and Stark as well—"

"No," Bucky snapped. His entire being rejected the concept of SHIELD getting their hands on Tony and Loki when they were so vulnerable. It wasn't that long ago that the organization had been thoroughly infested with Hydra, and even outside of that, Bucky wouldn't trust them with a gerbil let alone the child versions of his lovers. Sensing that she wasn't going to win, Natalia raised her hands in surrender.

"We still need to get them somewhere safe," Steve argued, swinging his shield to the holster on his back. "Preferably before they wake up, because there's no telling the deaging is just physical. I really wish that Bruce wasn't out of town, even if he's not that kind of doctor."

"I'm still trying to come to terms with how shrimpy they both are," Clint commented from his perch nearby. The archer did like his perches. "Like, I knew that Tony was a smol bean, but I didn't realize that Loki was one as well."

"My brother has always been small and girl-like," Thor boasted. He immediately cowered as Natasha turned to him with an eyebrow raised. "Not that there's anything wrong with being a maiden. I have always supported the right of women to become mighty warriors just like men."

"Dude, you might want to shut up before she stabs you," Clint advised, still not moving from his perch. "Also, not it for carrying the minis back."

"I've got them," Bucky said, already bending to scoop both sleeping children into his arms. Even unconscious, they both snuggled into him. That soothed the nagging voice inside Bucky that had been worried about completely losing (even temporarily) his lovers. They had come so far in just the few months they had been together. However long this lasted was going to be hard enough without them flinching away instinctively.

With a last glare at Thor, Bucky marched off towards the quinjet with his precious burdens.

-= LP =-  
To Be Continued  
-= LP =-


	2. Flight

**Author's Note(s):** Am I making ship fics that are angsty due to deaging? Yes, yes, I am.

**Challenge/Competition Block**:  
**Stacked with:** MC4A (SuBingo; Ship; SIN; StL; ToS; BAON; Star; Fence; AV; T3; SN; LiCK; FR); Tony Stark Bingo  
**Individual Challenges:** Team Logic; Marvelous Cinema; Old Shoes; Trope It Up C [Deaging] (Y); In a Flash; Lovely Triangle; Two Cakes! (Y); Shipmas (Y); Seeds; Hitter MC; Metahuman MC (x4);  
**Space Address (Prompt):** Summer Bingo [1E] (Trip); Tony Stark Bingo [K4] (Past Tense)  
**Representation:** Tony Stark/Loki/Bucky Barnes; Avengers;  
**Bonus Challenge(s):** Younger You; Second Verse (Three's Company; Car in a Tutu; Unwanted Advice; Middle Name; Nontraditional; Found Family); Chorus (Unicorn; Larger than Life; Tomorrow's Shade; Mouth of Babes; Machismo; Wabi Sabi)  
**Tertiary Bonus Challenges:** T3 (Terse; Tether); SN (Rail); LiCK (n/a); FR (n/a)  
**Word Count**: 694

-= LP =-  
Baffle Them  
Part 02: Flight  
-= LP =-

The flight back to the Avengers Tower is suspiciously silent. Normally, after such a short battle, they would all be riding adrenaline highs and planning some minor celebratory feast that would make whatever family-owned restaurant they ended up ordering from a small fortune. Enhanced metabolisms weren't anything to sneeze at when it came to packing away calories and there were four in permanent residence in the Tower, with a few others who were frequent visitors. Tony always acted like it was a personal affront if anyone went hungry, even if he himself tended to forget while in the middle of an inventing binge.

But the normal chatter about meal planning was missing, just like the brotherly banter between Thor and Loki was absent or Tony doing his best to bait Steve into one of his dramatic lectures.

Bucky shifted his weight carefully, still unwilling to disturb the unconscious children in his arms. It didn't work. Loki groaned as he began to wake. His fingers dug into the curve of Bucky's side hard enough that he could feel the bones creaking threateningly. The flash of pain was a shock. The fact that Asgardians and Jotuns were both significantly stronger than baseline humans wasn't something that Bucky could really forget, but he hadn't expected Loki to still be so strong as a child who appeared the human equivalent of five. Bucky barely managed to bite back his own groan as Loki's grip tightened further.

He breathed a little easier when Loki's hand went slack. The trickster was definitely playing 'possum, likely waiting to see the lay of the land before determining a course of action. Bucky didn't mind that, confident that Loki would decide that none of them were a threat worth stabbing anywhere vital. Well, Thor might still end up being stabbed a few times, but if the stories that the Thunderer liked to share were any indication, that was practically their version of a secret handshake. God knew that he and his sisters had had their own weird habits about each other. Bucky flexed the fingers of the arm wrapped around the shrunken god, silently signaling his support. In response, Loki rubbed his cheek against Bucky's tac-vest before almost absently reaching out to twist his fingers into the band shirt that Tony had been wearing under the armor.

Unlike all of Loki's clothing and armor (which had automatically transformed with its wearer), Tony's clothing hadn't fared as well in the magical attack that had turned the two Avengers into children. The fine linen of his slacks had been shredded entirely, while the silk boxers Tony had been wearing had shrunk perfectly. His angora socks had not changed at all, just like the Black Sabbath shirt hadn't. Bucky hadn't questioned it too much beyond being grateful that Tony's favorite band shirt hadn't been destroyed. He was thankful that they hadn't ended up with two children as naked as the day they had been born. Loki would have been able to explain it, had he been himself, and would have been delighted about a chance to lecture about the intricacies of magic.

Loki and Tony both shared that weird love of explaining things, especially in the fields that they were passionate about the most. Hardly anyone ever let them finish those speeches, but Bucky loved watching them light up when they were allowed to spiel. That was a magic all its own.

Bucky's heart twisted a bit at the reminder that his best anchors in the chaos of the modern world were currently not their delightful selves. Yeah, he still had Steve and to a certain extent, even Natalia could be counted on to keep him from getting lost in the memories of decades as Hydra's Fist, but they weren't good at getting him past that point. Loki and Tony were.

But what if this wasn't temporary?

He rested his chin on Loki's head as Natasha landed the quinjet on the Tower's specially modified roof. He couldn't dwell on that. They would deal with that when it became an issue. Right then, Bucky had two miniature genii who were trouble when they had an adult's self-control.

-= LP =-  
To Be Continued  
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	3. Fret

**Author's Note:** In case no one has noticed so far, this is an AU where the various Marvel runs are smashed together as it pleases me, with only hints of MCU. Basically, just roll with everything.

**Challenge/Competition Block**:  
**Stacked with:** MC4A (SpBingo; Ship; SIN; StL; ToS; BAON; FPC; Star; Fence; AV; T3; SN; LiCK; FR); Tony Stark Bingo  
**Individual Challenges:** Team Logic; Marvelous Cinema; Old Shoes; Trope It Up C [Deaging] (Y); In a Flash; Lovely Triangle; Two Cakes! (Y); Shipmas (Y); Seeds; Hitter MC; Metahuman MC (x2); Chilled Iron Bribery (Y)  
**Space Address (Prompt):** Spring Bingo [2E] (Warmth); Tony Stark Bingo [A3] (Free)  
**Representation:** Tony Stark/Loki/Bucky Barnes; Avengers; Dr. Helen Cho  
**Bonus Challenge(s):** Younger You; Second Verse (Three's Company; Car in a Tutu; Unwanted Advice; Middle Name; Nontraditional; Found Family; Ladylike; Not a Lamp; White Dress); Chorus (Unicorn; Larger than Life; Tomorrow's Shade; Mouth of Babes; Machismo; Wabi Sabi)  
**Tertiary Bonus Challenges:** T3 (Terse; Tether); SN (Rail); LiCK (n/a); FR (n/a)  
**Word Count**: 724

-= LP =-  
**Baffle Them**  
Part 03: Fret  
-= LP =-

Other than his grip on Tony's shirt, Loki continued his pretense of unconsciousness as Bucky carried him and Tony from the quinjet into the tower. None of the Avengers stopped at the lockers in the annex to the hanger. No one wanted to delay the trip down to the medical floor even a few minutes. Even if the actual wounds from the brief battle was practically nonexistent (Steve had the worst of it with the broken nose that was already mostly healed), there was no telling what kind of trauma Loki and Tony had from deaging as much as they had and as fast as they had.

Medical had the best sensors outside of Tony's workshop, and with their resident magic-expert being one of the people revisiting their childhood, they would need whatever data they could get. It was still kind of ominous how silent JARVIS had been since this whole thing had started. That alone was making Bucky twitchy about things. Nothing good ever came of JARVIS being quiet, especially when things like the elevator starting the moment they were all in it happened.

Hopefully, JARVIS was still the one in control of the tower and hadn't been ousted by nefarious forces. Bucky really wasn't in the mood to be the kind of nice that kept Steve from making the disappointed sad face. If it ever came down to a choice between dealing with Stevie's disappointment and the safety of his lovers, then the choice was already made. The safety of Loki and Tony would always trump a little disappointment. Steve would get over it.

There were some things that Steve didn't understand, that he simply couldn't because he lacked the necessary life experiences that led to being able to understand. Bucky loved the punk, but sometimes his stubborn adherence to a strict black or white morality got in his way. Unfortunately, that was always going to be a bone of contention between Tony, Loki, and Steve, no matter how well they could work together in the field. For better or for worst, Bucky and his lovers had had the shades of gray beaten into them by life, and Stevie just hadn't. He didn't begrudge his best friend the small measure of innocence he had managed to retain. Lord knows that he wouldn't wish anyone the sort of pain it took to teach the lessons necessary to get that point across. It still meant that Stevie struggled to understand the concept that sometimes it was necessary to be brutal rather than stubborn.

"There's my patients," Dr. Cho greeted the moment they arrived in Medical. Her smile was warm as she took in the group. Her brown eyes lingered on Loki for an extra moment as her lips pursed into a thoughtful frown. "I have a couple of beds set up in your usual exam room, James. I'll be over there just as soon as I've sorted out this lot."

Bucky retreated to the sheltered area as Dr. Cho badgered the other Avengers into checkups with her underlings. None of the Avengers made for good patients, tending to skip checking in with Medical more often than not and trying to leave as soon as possible. Even as worried as he was about Loki and Tony (especially Tony, who still hadn't woken up), Bucky didn't begrudge the doctor taking advantage of having all the Avengers within her domain for once.

Especially when she had taken the effort to arrange two of the Thor-size into the corner of the room with the best sightlines.

Damn, but she was worth everything that Tony paid her, even outside the cutting-edge medical tech that she invented and improved since finally getting adequate funding.

Loki gave up feigning sleep to crawl onto the connected beds. He settled with his back against the wall and his legs crossed. Bucky could feel the god's eyes watching him as he carefully settled down with Tony still resting against his chest. He wasn't worried that Loki was being so quiet. Loki liked to get a handle on a situation before speaking unlike Tony who could talk for hours without really saying anything.

Bucky took a deep breath, striving for some measure of calm. They would get through this. Even if they weren't his lovers, they were still Loki and Tony, and they needed him.

-= LP =-  
To Be Continued  
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	4. Flirt

**Author's Note:** Today's brand of baffling bullshtick is Loki the Smaller realizing why his seidr is all over and in Bucky and Tiny Tony, then proceeding to weird Bucky out by talking about it while, you know, _younger_.

**Challenge/Competition Block**:  
**Stacked with:** MC4A (SpBingo; Ship; SIN; StL; ToS; BAON; Star; Fence; AV; T3; SN; LiCK; FR);  
**Individual Challenges:** Team Logic; Marvelous Cinema; Old Shoes; Trope It Up C [Deaging] (Y); In a Flash; Lovely Triangle; Two Cakes! (Y); Shipmas (Y); Seeds; Hitter MC; Metahuman MC (x2); Chilled Iron Bribery (Y)  
**Space Address (Prompt):** Spring Bingo [3A] (Yellow)  
**Representation:** Tony Stark/Loki/Bucky Barnes; Avengers;  
**Bonus Challenge(s):** Younger You; Creature Feature; Second Verse (Three's Company; Car in a Tutu; Unwanted Advice; Middle Name; Nontraditional; Found Family); Chorus (Unicorn; Larger than Life; Tomorrow's Shade; Mouth of Babes; Machismo; Wabi Sabi)  
**Tertiary Bonus Challenges:** T3 (Terse; Thimble); SN (Rail); LiCK (Yarrow); FR (Satisfaction)  
**Word Count**: 696

-= LP =-  
**Baffle Them**  
Part 04: Flirt  
-= LP =-

"You're mine," Loki announced. Bucky cracked open his eyes, startled to find himself staring directly into Loki's green eyes. That only happened when Loki needed to make a point. Loki had a talent for faking out eye contact that rivaled even Tony's. The hairs on Bucky's neck lifted as he fought the urge to drop his gaze submissively. Even in the guise of a child, Loki projected so much authority. The godling pointed at Tony, still asleep against Bucky's chest. "Him, too. None of the others are. What makes you so important?"

"That's kind of rude," Bucky pointed out. Tony's breath hitched like it did when his sleep was disturbed by something. Out of habit, Bucky settled his hand against the nape of his neck. Instantly, Tony went even more limp against him, not even tensing for a moment like he usually did. Loki watched it all with a strange expression on his face. "We're all your teammates, and I'm sure we're all important to ya."

"Oh, sure," Loki agreed, the bitterness in his voice familiar even if it sounded fucking weird on a child, "I'm sure we're a great band of warriors whose bonds of fellowship are what bards sing of. But none of _them_ have been marked with my seidr, not like you two have. What makes you so worthy?"

"Marked by your seidr?" Bucky echoed. Then he groaned as a couple of obvious possibilities occurred to him. There was no way in hell that Bucky was going to repeat the _godly essence_ discussion with the kid version of his lover. That only left one answer though. "You probably recast your invasive monitoring spells despite telling us that you wouldn't and understood why we were miffed about it in the first place."

"That's stupid," Loki countered. "If you needed monitoring in the first place, why wouldn't I recast it as needed? Besides, the only actual spells on either of you are protection charms." The boy waved one of his long-fingered hands negligently. "Mother put more on Thor and me." Loki narrowed his eyes at Bucky. Then his eyes grew comically wide. His voice was surprised as he voiced the conclusion he had just made. "_Oh_. You really are _mine_!"

"I'm not having this discussion with you, Loki," Bucky said, hoping that it would counter the growing look of childish glee growing on the godling's face. "I'm serious. We're not discussing it."

"You belong to a _god_," Loki said, not paying Bucky's words any attention, "and that god is _me_, Loki, god of mischief!" His gaze flicked down to Tony. "Oh! And I have two of you! _Excellent_." The gleam in Loki's eyes made Bucky groan again. That yellowish glint always meant that Loki wasn't going to stop until he got distracted by something more entertaining. "Did I woo you separately? Or do I have you both at the same time?"

"I am not discussing that with you while you look like that," Bucky repeated. Loki sat up straighter, his thin chest puffing out.

"I am three hundred and sixty-four years old, mortal! Not to mention that I am well-versed in all practical manners, as fitting my position as Mother's student!"

"Yeah, well, you look _eight_ in human years, Lokes," Bucky rebutted, "so _no_, I'm not discussing our sex life with you."

"So you admit that we do have sex!"

"You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"_Never_," Loki promised. His grin had too many teeth to be anything but intimidating, even as small as he currently was. "I take very good care of the things that are mine. I'm nothing like Thor. He's always breaking stuff. I will protect you both from him, from Father, from _anyone_ who even thinks of harming you."

"That would be a bit more believable if you were your normal age, kiddo."

"I am Loki of Asgard," he said indignantly, "and it is my honor to bear the burden of your protection!"

Maybe it wasn't the right reaction, because Loki looked so very annoyed by his reaction, but Bucky couldn't help the giggles he broke out into. God, his life really was a comic book, wasn't it?

-= LP =-  
To Be Continued  
-= LP =-


	5. Fight

**Author's Note:** So, um, in case you didn't pick up on it: the boys are deaged in mind as well as body. Loki is coming from a normal day in his life, which mostly involved training with Frigga at his age. Tony is coming directly from the museum trip he and Ana went on for his sixth birthday. (Spoiler: that trip did not end well.)

**Challenge/Competition Block**:  
**Stacked with:** MC4A (SuBingo; Ship; SIN; StL; ToS; BAON; Star; Fence; AV; T3; SN; LiCK; FR); Tony Stark Bingo  
**Individual Challenges:** Team Logic; Marvelous Cinema; Old Shoes; Trope It Up C [Deaging] (Y); In a Flash; Lovely Triangle; Two Cakes! (Y); Shipmas (Y); Seeds; Neurodivergent; Quiet Time (Y); Letter of the Day; Flags & Ribbons (Y); Rian-Russo Inversion (Y); Hitter MC; Metahuman MC (x2); Chilled Iron Bribery (Y)  
**Space Address (Prompt):** Summer Bingo [3C] (Liberty/Freedom); Tony Stark Bingo [R5] (Animal)  
**Representation:** Tony Stark/Loki/Bucky Barnes; Avengers;  
**Bonus Challenge(s):** Younger You; Second Verse (Three's Company; Car in a Tutu; Unwanted Advice; Middle Name; Nontraditional; Found Family); Chorus (Unicorn; Larger than Life; Tomorrow's Shade; Mouth of Babes; Machismo; Wabi Sabi)  
**Tertiary Bonus Challenges:** T3 (Terse; Terrarium); SN (Rail); LiCK (Poppy; Yarrow); FR (n/a); O3 (n/a)  
**Word Count**: 714

-= LP =-  
**Baffle Them  
**Part 05: Fight  
-= LP =-

Bucky's laughter managed to wake Tony. His tiny nose scrunched the same way it did when Tony was an adult. The kid version of his genius even did the same little rub of his cheek against Bucky's wrist. Everything seemed to be going just as calmly as it had with Loki waking up for about thirty whole seconds, even if Bucky could see Tony's closed eyes doing that darting thing they always did when he was processing about seven trains of thought at once.

That was fine. Tony had once explained exactly how fast his thoughts could get without something to slow them down. It made sense for Tony to have always been that way. Bucky was probably going to go insane trying to keep with a kid who could think at the speed of light, but he was confident that it couldn't be any worse than dealing with Tony in obsession mode.

His confidence in his ability to handle Tony died a quick death when the kid bit his wrist with the speed of a viper and immediately squirmed free. Tony hit the ground running, moving and analyzing his surroundings at the same time. Bucky had seen Widows _graduate_ with less situational awareness than what the kid was displaying. Tony's small body bounced off the closed door to the private room even as Bucky realized the potential issue.

The kid didn't even slow down at his escape being thwarted. Already he was moving to the tray that someone had used to lay out everything necessary for standard wound dressing. Grabbing the scissors, the boy turned to hold them out threateningly while backing himself into the corner closest to the door. His brown eyes were wide and darting around the room, fearful like his panic attacks but _present_ in a way that meant that this was not a flashback. Bucky's heart broke a bit at the realization that despite being so young, he had already learned so many defense tactics.

Bucky would _never_ again question why Tony never wanted to discuss his childhood. It looked to have been just as hellish as growing up in the Red Room. Tony couldn't possibly be older than six on the outside (and damn, Tony had always been so small, hadn't he?) yet he would have managed to successfully escape if JARVIS hadn't secured the door.

It was only then that Bucky noticed a strange arching glow emitting through the shirt that Tony wore.

His gut went cold instantly. He knew that glow. He even knew that pattern. The silicon cover that Tony used to cushion his reactor always made a strong suction, but it still tended to slip if that suction was broken. Tony still hadn't solved that problem, since it was only an issue if he had to move a certain way that most marks of the armor didn't allow. But the way that the kid had rested against Bucky? That would do it.

Fear moved like ice through him. The reactor caused so many issues for Tony when he was an adult. The child version still had the exact same sized device embedded in a much, much smaller chest. Bucky swallowed the burning bile gathering in the back of his throat at realization. Tony was always the more vulnerable member of their relationship, no matter how much he seemed to survive solely on _spite_. Tony didn't have any version of the serum running through his veins. He didn't have any kind of alien heritage.

At the end of the day, he was just a genius in a can and so, _so_ breakable.

Yet Tony met the potential threat with all the snarling defensiveness of a cat facing down a Doberman, armed with a pair of medical shears and already panting from the exertion of his brief run around the small room. Kid probably wasn't even fifty pounds sopping wet. There was no conceivable way for him to win a fight against Bucky, who was clearly still in his tac gear and armed. _And yet_ Tony still looked ready to fight his way to freedom.

_Lord help him_.

Bucky had managed to fall in love with a version of Steve after all.

Somewhere in the afterlife, his mama was laughing at him. He just knew it.

-= LP =-  
To Be Continued  
-= LP =-


	6. Fizzle

**Warnings:** In addition to the usual potentially offensive content, this chapter has minor child on child violence and implied/referenced childhood anxiety.

**Author's Note(s):** Okay. So my hand tends to slip a lot and suddenly characters are things that I didn't exact plan (like this story actually has a plan beyond "as many of my Bingo prompts as possible in each chapter). So now, in addition to Tony & Loki being autistic, Bucky's apparently Jewish. So…are you baffled yet?

**Challenge/Competition Block**:  
**Stacked with:** MC4A (SpBingo; Ship; SIN; StL; ToS; BAON; Star; Fence; AV; T3; SN; LiCK; FR); Tony Stark Bingo  
**Individual Challenges:** Team Logic; Marvelous Cinema; Old Shoes; Trope It Up C [Deaging] (Y); In a Flash; Lovely Triangle; Two Cakes! (Y); Shipmas (Y); Seeds; Neurodivergent; Quiet Time (Y); Letter of the Day; Flags & Ribbons (Y); Rian-Russo Inversion (Y); Hitter MC; Metahuman MC (x2); Chilled Iron Bribery (Y)  
**Space Address (Prompt):** Tony Stark Bingo [S2] (Whump); Spring Bingo [4C] (Rainbow)  
**Representation:** Tony Stark/Loki/Bucky Barnes; Autistic Tony Stark & Loki; Jewish Bucky Barnes;  
**Bonus Challenge(s):** Younger You; Wind Beneath; Second Verse (Three's Company; Car in a Tutu; Unwanted Advice; Middle Name; Nontraditional; Found Family); Chorus (Unicorn; Larger than Life; Tomorrow's Shade; Mouth of Babes; Machismo; Wabi Sabi)  
**Tertiary Bonus Challenges:** T3 (Terse; Terrarium); SN (Rail); LiCK (Poppy); FR (n/a); O3 (n/a)  
**Word Count**: 773

-= LP =-  
**Baffle Them**  
Part 06: Fizzle  
-= LP =-

Bucky held his hands up and out to the sides, trying to convey to the terrified genius that he meant no harm. The motion didn't seem to do anything other than emphasis that Tony had a hell of a bite on him. Even with Bucky's enhanced healing, his wrist ached where Tony had bit him.

Rhodes' jokes about koalas were beginning to make sense for a reason completely outside of Tony's tendency to be a clingy cuddler.

"Fascinating," Loki muttered. Bucky moved just half a second too slow to stop the godling from sliding off the bed. Tony immediately focused on the child moving towards him. A flash of confusion crossed his face before his hand with its weapon began to lower. Loki stopped just outside of Tony's reach to tilt his head. Bucky didn't have to imagine the look on Loki's face, because he knew the expression that always accompanied that word in that tone. "Simply _fascinating_."

"Loki, maybe you should—"

"Oh, yes," Loki interrupted, "I definitely _should_."

Demonstrating that the godling was definitely not on the same wavelength as Bucky, Loki darted forward into Tony's space. Predictably, the boy reacted by trying to stab Loki, only the miniaturized armor keeping him being needing scissors removed from his shoulder. Loki let out a delighted laugh at the effort as it was a game—which, okay, was more than likely true, given how Loki and Thor fought with live blades the same way that puppies wrestled with each other. Tony was human though, and far more breakable than an Asgardian or Jotun were.

"Shears are horrible weapons," Loki lectured as he slid around to press against Tony's back. Even as small as Loki was as a child, Tony barely came up to the middle of his chest. Even before Bucky could _think_ that the situation couldn't get much worse, Loki proved him wrong by pulling out _an actual blade_. With the deliberateness of ritual, Loki curled Tony's free hand around the hilt of it. A rainbow of color flowed over it from tip to pommel, and then onward to cover Tony as well.

The little genius held out his hands to look at the lightshow dancing across his skin. Even through the colors dazzling Bucky's gaze, he can see the familiar curiosity gleaming in Tony's eyes as he began to mildly experiment with it. Loki smiled smugly behind Tony, like a cat that had managed to capture the elusive red dot, and then the godling began explaining what the lightshow was supposed to do. Tony was clearly enraptured by the words spilling over him like a waterfall.

The scene was perfectly innocent, even peaceful (especially compared to a few moments ago when Tony looked spooked and ready to claw Bucky's eyes out), but something about it nagged at Bucky. Hadn't he watched almost the exact same scene with their adult selves? Tony loved to give gifts, chattering a mile-a-minute about the way he had improved it or the lengths he went to in order to gain it. If Bucky didn't sleep beside the genius most nights, he would have said that Tony would even talk then. That was when the thing nagging at him finally hit him.

Tony still hadn't said a word.

Loki was still speaking, fast enough that even the All-Speak appeared to be straining. All the carefulness that Bucky knew was a point of pride for Loki was missing from the godling's speech. Occasionally, Tony would touch Loki's arm gently, always ready to jerk away if necessary, and Loki would pause until Tony removed his fingers. Bucky had felt on the outside of their conversations before, but it had never been to this extent, where they looked to be more communing with each other than actually talking.

"So who taught you to move like that?" Loki asked suddenly, breaking off his techno babble for the question. Tony grabbed Loki's arm so tightly that his little knuckles turn white. He opened his mouth a few times, but no sound escaped. Finally, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, like he always did when trying to stave off a panic attack. Bucky found himself swallowing bile again. _How long has Tony had panic attacks?_

"Eym," Tony whispered. His voice cracked in the middle of the word. Which was fitting because Bucky's heart was doing the same, because he recognized that word. Bucky doesn't know how Tony knew it, because it was a well-documented fact that Howard and Maria Stark were both Catholics (if to different degrees). Loki looked solemn as he replied.

"My mother taught me as well."

-= LP =-  
To Be Continued  
-= LP =-


	7. Flummox

**Warnings:** In addition to the usual potentially offensive content, this chapter has no real warnings beyond the MCU canon typical that comes along with referencing Tony's childhood.

**Author's Note(s):** Dr. Helen Cho, actual medical doctor as well as biologist & engineer, returns.

**Challenge/Competition Block**:  
**Stacked with:** MC4A (SpBingo; Ship; SIN; StL; ToS; BAON; Star; Fence; AV; T3; SN; LiCK; FR); Tony Stark Bingo  
**Individual Challenges:** Team Logic; Marvelous Cinema; Old Shoes; Trope It Up C [Deaging] (Y); In a Flash; Lovely Triangle; Two Cakes! (Y); Shipmas (Y); Seeds; Neurodivergent; Quiet Time (Y); Letter of the Day; Flags & Ribbons (Y); Rian-Russo Inversion (Y); Hitter MC; Metahuman MC (x2); Chilled Iron Bribery (Y)  
**Space Address (Prompt):** Spring Bingo [2B] (Sweet)  
**Representation:** Tony Stark/Loki/Bucky Barnes; Autistic Tony Stark & Loki; Jewish Bucky Barnes; Dr. Helen Cho  
**Bonus Challenge(s):** Younger You; Wind Beneath; Second Verse (Three's Company; Car in a Tutu; Unwanted Advice; Middle Name; Nontraditional; Found Family; Ladylike; Not a Lamp; White Dress); Chorus (Unicorn; Larger than Life; Tomorrow's Shade; Mouth of Babes; Machismo; Wabi Sabi)  
**Tertiary Bonus Challenges:** T3 (Terse; Terrarium); SN (Rail); LiCK (Poppy); FR (n/a)  
**Word Count**: 757

-= LP =-  
**Baffle Them**  
Part 07: Flummox  
-= LP =-

A sharp knock on the door made all three of them startle. The door immediately opened to let Dr. Cho enter. Thankfully, instead of making a break for it, Tony pressed back against Loki. He did appear to be breathing too quickly to be any good. The sound of the lock reengaging was loud enough that Dr. Cho turned to look at it before looking at Bucky with an unimpressed expression.

"It's not because I'm being paranoid," he defended. "Tony's already tried to make a break for it."

"Always nice to have confirmation of my theories," she quipped as she placed a tablet on the counter near the utility sink. "I'll start with you, James, since my other patients are hiding in the corner. Any injuries to report?"

"Nothing that hasn't already healed, Doc," Bucky answered dutifully. He wiggled the fingers of his left hand at her. "Thinking something got knocked loose in the arm, but that's not a medical thing, exactly."

"I'll see what Dr. Banner can manage," Dr. Cho said with a sympathetic expression. "I know better than to suggest anyone else work on Stark propriety tech."

"Yeah, even Bruce would be pushing it."

"Dad's making arms?"

Bucky startled again at the sound of Tony's voice so close. The little boy had come up the edge of the bed closest to Bucky's left side. His brown eyes were focused on the metal arm like it was the most shocking thing he had ever seen, which Bucky didn't understand for probably longer than he should have. Of course it would have been shocking if Tony thought that Howard had built the arm. Rhodey had dropped enough hints for Bucky to figure out that Howard would never have gotten something like the arm to actual work, even if Howard could have been convinced to even try.

Howard was a genius, and a genius who was heads and shoulders above other geniuses in his field, but Tony was one of those minds that was beyond quantifying. Calling Tony a genius was a demonstration of how language sometimes failed to have adequate adjectives to make nouns distinctive from each other. Bucky had watched Tony master new fields of science while bantering with the bots. It was all a stark (ha!) reminder that Loki wasn't the only god in their relationship.

Tony routinely created sentient beings, after all, and what could be more godlike than that?

"Well, that answers my primary question," Dr. Cho announced. "At least Tony deaged in mind as well as body. Do you want to do the honors or should I get one of the others in here to take over?"

"I will," Bucky said once he realized what she was implying. Oh, he was going to both love and hate the next few bits. Informing Tony of all the things he had managed to create, at the age when he was just starting to dream of doing it all? That was going to be great. But inevitably, the kid was going to ask what had happened to his parents, which was going to be a much harder discussion. "Howard Stark did not create my arm."

"Oh," Tony said, deflating a little. Bucky waited for him to continue, used to Tony chattering to fill any gap with a waterfall of words, but the silence stretched on. He exchanged a look with Dr. Cho, who was visibly perplexed as well. Loki narrowed his eyes at both of them before crowding close to Tony protectively.

"Tony," Bucky said cautiously, "you created it—or rather, you did when you were an adult. I don't know how much you can remember, but we were fighting someone, and something happened as the fight was winding down. Both you and Loki were deaged."

Tony looked up from the arm, meeting Bucky's eyes even if he looked uncomfortable doing it. He seemed to be searching for something on Bucky's face. Whatever it was, Tony must have found because he nodded and dropped his gaze, this time to the bed. Buck exchanged another look with Dr. Cho, now even more confused.

That wasn't anything like the Tony Stark either of them knew. Neither of them knew how to deal with a Tony who was so subdued now that he wasn't trying to escape or fight them. Neither of them realized that figuring out how to handle Tony was soon to be the least of their troubles.

They realized it at the exact moment that Loki disappeared with a quiet _pop_, taking Tony with him.

-= LP =-  
To Be Continued  
-= LP =-


	8. Frost

**Warnings:** This story may contain material that is not suitable for all audiences and may offend some readers. Please exercise understanding of personal sensitivities before and during reading.

**Author's Note(s):** The writer's trifecta is so hard to come by.

**Challenge/Competition Block**:  
**Stacked with:** MC4A (SpB; Ship; T3; SN; LiCK; FR; O3; RoIL; BAON; ToS; StL; SIN; NC; PP; SoC; Star; Fence; ER; AV; RoB; MLG; Rum; Cluster)  
**Individual Challenges:** xx; Feeling So Logical [Responsible];  
**Space Address (Prompt):** SpB [3E] (Wind/Breeze)  
**Shipping War Info:** Tony Stark/Loki/Bucky Barnes (Tony/Loki); Winter Frost Iron/Frost Iron; Hugging  
**Representation:** Tony Stark/Loki/Bucky Barnes (Tony/Loki); Autistic Tony & Loki; Howard & Odin's A-plus Parenting; Genderflux Loki; Superheroes  
**Bonus Challenge(s):** Under the Bridge; Second Verse (Persistence Still; Found Family; Nontraditional; Middle Name; Spinning Plates; Unwanted Advice; Car in a Tutu; Lock & Key; Three's Company; For the Vine; Lovely Coconuts; Younger You; Grease Monkey; Most Human Bean; Rock of Ages; Casper's House); Chorus (Wabi Sabi; Machismo; Peddling Pots; Mouth of Babes; Tomorrow's Shade; Eternal Boredom; Larger than Life; Unicorn; Creature Feature; Wind Beneath; Abandoned Ship; Turtle-Duck; Some Beach)  
**Tertiary Bonus Challenges:** T3 (Terse; Toad); SN (Rail; Intercept); LiCK (Poppy; Narcissus; Tansy); FR (Satisfaction); O3 (Oath); RoIL (Satisfaction; Exuviation)  
**Word Count**: 798

-= LP =-  
**Baffle Them**  
Part 08: Frost  
-= LP =-

The wind whipped at them both as they reappeared on the landing pad of the building. Loki almost managed to keep his feet beneath him despite the roughness of the teleport. Unfortunately, his passenger was nowhere near as prepared, having been kneeling when Loki had had enough of how the adults had been looking at _his Tony_. They both ended up in a pile of limbs.

It was worse than trying to teleport with Thor, honestly.

To make the situation even more dire, Tony started wheezing like he couldn't get enough air. Loki hurriedly detangled them. A scan with his magic did not show any curses or injuries in need of healing. It did react weirdly to the energy diode embedded in the other boy's chest. It felt like a healing table but sparked in the same strange way that Mother's scrying vessels always did.

"Hurts," Tony whimpered. His brown eyes were wide and frightened. They had a shimmer to them that Loki knew better than to blame on the high winds that whipped around them. Nervous now that they were away from those who had dared to act like someone claimed by _a god_ could be somehow less, Loki ran his hands down the sides of Tony's thin chest.

"I don't know how to fix that," Loki fretted, tossing all his lessons on how a future king should purport himself aside. "Maybe if you sit up? And the yardmaster has a trick for easing stitches."

Carefully, he helped the smaller boy sit up. Then he gripped Tony's wrists and raised them both to the crown of his head. Tony's breath hitched as Loki got him into position, like he was going to release a sob. Then Tony relaxed against Loki entirely, transferring his hands from his head to the back of Loki's neck.

Loki truly did not know what he would have done if Tony had started to cry. He had the premonition that Tony's tears would destroy him, regardless of not remembering what they had shared as adults. Memories did not matter, not as much as how much of his seidr Tony carried within him, even more than that soldier back in that healing room had. Even if the soldier had not been willing to discuss it, Loki _did_ know what that meant: Tony clearly needed more attention. As a god, it was Loki's duty to protect what he had claimed as his own.

"Better?" he questioned once Tony's gasps had eased into something less laborious. Tony nodded as he cautiously lowered his arms. Loki tightened his arms around the tiny mortal. In response, Tony stayed reclined against him. He did look around them as if trying to place their location now that more pressing issues had been handled. Unable to handle the quiet, Loki let the explanation spill out of him. "I teleported us up as high as I could. I would have gone down, which would have given us more avenues for escape, but I haven't mastered teleporting with another to locations that I have not seen yet. I was unwilling to risk your safety when the whole reason that I was taking you away was your protection. I could not stand to watch them act like you were broken for one more moment."

"But I am," Tony whispered. His words were almost lost to the wind that howled around them. Had Loki not been a god, he might not have heard the heresy coming from the lips of the one who was surely his most precious. Loki had never truly understood Thor's little squabbles for revenge over slights, but at the very idea that _someone_ had convinced one worthy of belonging to a god that they were broken, Loki felt like he could cover the entire world with ice so cold that it burned. It was not right! Tony was _his_, which just proved how worthy and flawless he had to be.

It was everything that Loki had sought to prevent when he had stolen Tony, because he knew how deep unspoken disappointment could cut. His father did not need to say how much Loki disappointed him, after all. He need only praise Thor's brash plans to crush all those who would oppose Asgard while he mastered the hammer and the axe—not magic and daggers as Loki does, learning from their mother the skills more befitting a _consort_ than a _king_, even as that part goes unsaid.

Loki was flawed, was too small and weak to ever be worthy.

But he had proof that he had taken two favored mortals, obviously confident that he could protect them and bless them both. He would not hear of one of _his_ speak of himself so.

"You are not," Loki decreed, "for you are _mine_."

-= LP =-  
To Be Continued  
-= LP =-


	9. Frantic

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the original canon nor am I making any profit from writing this piece. All works are accredited to their original authors, performers, and producers while this piece is mine. No copyright infringement is intended. I acknowledge that all views and opinions expressed herein are merely my interpretations of the characters and situations found within the original canon and may not reflect the views and opinions of the original author(s), producer(s), and/or other people.

**Warnings:** This story may contain material that is not suitable for all audiences and may offend some readers. There's also canon typical implied violence. Please exercise understanding of personal sensitivities before and during reading.

**Author's Note(s):** I live, sort of. I'm trying to get my mojo back because it's been so long.

**Challenge/Competition Block**:  
**Stacked with:** MC4A (Ship; Hunt; SpB; TrB; Chim; Link; FPC; BAON; Star; Fence; T3; SN)  
**Individual Challenges:** Chilled MCU Bribery (Y); Metahuman MC (x3); SHIELD MC (x2); Magical MC; Military MC (x4); Medic MC; Rian-Russo Inversion; Ethnic & Present; Disabled; Laws; Lovely Triangle; Ship Sails; Zed Era; Old Shoes (Y); Marvelous Cinema; In a Flash; The Real MC (Y); Two Cakes; Eating Cakes; Green Ribbon  
**Other MC4A Challenges (Prompt):** Sp Bingo [1A](Sheep/Lamb); Tr Bingo [4B](Finagle's Law); Hunt [Sp Settings](New York City [Any Borough]); Ship [Sp Big](Fountain Pen);  
**Representation:** Bucky/Tony(/Loki); Avengers as Family; Dr. Helen Cho; Pepper Potts  
**Primary & Secondary Bonus Challenge(s):** Found Family; Nontraditional; Zucchini Bread; Fizzy Lemonade; Machismo; Second Verse (Ladylike; Not a Lamp; Persistence Still; White Dress); Chorus (Pear-Shaped; Wabi Sabi); Demo (Nighingale; Most Human Bean; Shiver & Shake)  
**Tertiary & Generic Bonus Challenges:** T3 (Terse; Thimble); SN (Rail)  
**Word Count**: 850

-= LP =-  
**Baffle Them**  
Part 09: Frantic  
-= LP =-

"_Shit_," Bucky swore even as the air rushed to settle into the space that had been occupied just a moment prior. Dr. Cho looked similarly shocked at the disappearing act. Not that neither of them didn't know that teleportation was one of Loki's many skills as an adult. They could only hope that the miniature version had a more limited range. "JARVIS, please say that they're still in the tower?"

"They are not," JARVIS answered after a half beat of silence. Bucky felt like someone had punched him in the gut. "However, they only went to the roof. They did not transition smoothly, and Sir is currently experiencing mild respiratory distress as a result."

Bucky was running before JARVIS had even finished speaking. Dr. Cho followed. Then they ran into a problem that they hadn't been considering: the Avengers were camped in the medical wing instead of scattering. Seeing both him and Dr. Cho running out of the room without either child made most of them start shouting questions that they didn't have time to answer.

"Where is my brother?" Thor finally shouted loud enough to be heard over the general din. Since he was the biggest obstacle between Bucky and the door, not to mention an Asgardian, answering him would be quicker than trying to go through him. Or at least, that was what Bucky was trying to tell himself to keep himself from slipping into the cold smoothness that had allowed himself to be the Fist of Hydra.

"He teleported away with Tony," Bucky answered with clenched fists. His left arm whined as it vented with the motion. The feeling from earlier—that this entire situation was Thor's fault—resurfaced. While he did trust his lovers with each other under normal circumstances, right now they were both children. Tony still had the reactor in his chest, which made him extra vulnerable to harm. Bucky was holding onto his protective instinct by a rapidly fraying thread.

"He fled? Why? What did you do?"

"Who cares about why right now?" Clint cut in, twirling an arrow—one with the red fletching marking it as an explosive arrow, and wouldn't that be a fine mess if it went off?—as he did. The way Stevie had to crane his neck to see the archer in his perch atop a supply cabinet was just comical enough that Bucky could fight back the urge to see if Tony's hard work would stand up to Thor's cheekbones. "We can settle the why later. Where did he take his fellow mini? I'm guessing the pipsqueak can't be too far, if you're hustling out here like that."

"They only went to the roof," Dr. Cho answered, "but JARVIS said something went wrong and Tony was having trouble breathing."

"Shit," Clint commented as he stopped twirling the arrow abruptly. "Does baby Tony still have the reactor?"

"_Yes_," Bucky confirmed at the same time that Steve muttered something about language, which was probably so reflexive at this point that he couldn't help himself. "And it's the same size."

"But that is not how this magic should work," Thor protested, confusion clear on his face. "Everything on the person in question should shrink to match."

"Loki has mentioned that reactor tends to make magic react weirdly," Bucky said. He was beginning to eye the space between Thor and the edge of the doorframe again. "Stands to reason that it wouldn't just be his magic that went squirrelly."

"My brother's magic has always worked on him," Thor argued. Bucky and Steve both sighed like they were exhausted. Clint burst out laughing. Thor looked even less happy with that reaction than he had about Bucky pointing out Loki's difficulties getting magic to work with ARC reactor energy. "What?"

"Loki had performance issues from their very first meeting," Clint managed through his laughter. "It's literally what they bonded over. Just being around an ARC reactor fucks up magic, including the kind that had Loki trying for world domination." Clint gave Bucky a knowing leer. "Instead of, you know, just regular domination."

"What other kind of domination is there?" Steve asked, drawing everyone's attention to him. Bucky barely resisted smacking a hand over his face. No way was he going to have that conversation with his best friend. That was going to be another thing he left for Thor. Clint didn't help matters by laughing again, this time hard enough to fall off the supply cupboard.

"Oh, Nat's gonna be sorry she missed this," Clint wheezed. "It will make losing the bet about Cap so worth it."

"Wait—what bet?" Steve asked at the same time Bucky realized that the room was distinctively void of scary redheads. Though apparently, he was making that assessment too soon because at that exact moment Pepper Potts walked into the medical wing armed with a clipboard and a fountain pen.

"Most likely the one about your sex life," Pepper said as she finished signing something. Her blue eyes cut over the assembled group. An ominous hush fell over them all. "Where is Tony?"

They were so dead.

-= LP =-  
To Be Continued  
-= LP =-


End file.
